My Blog

Maybe deep inside my heart i want someone whom i can rely on… not that i can’t rely on the people whom i know now, its just errr, feel different?

I finally felt what it means to have a big brother, even if its just a dream, this unknown guy (older than me, i guess, err… maybe, i dont really know if hes a guy though, well we both have psp’s XD) guided me in this another world for an hour or so, what i felt was like a big brother caring for his little bro. it was touching i dont even want to wake up :D… Well its just a dream and dont even think about that i have a romantic feeling for that guy! Im not a bi LOL!… Its just refreshing to be able to experience that warm and fuzzy feeling even if its in a dream… I dont even remember that dream clearly now…

I definitely don’t have a chance to experience that in real life!!! and i envy those who can, hahahad a human brain is truly a wonderful thing…

Before Reading this post, Try Playing this… It regulates the mood ^_~

You were once so beautiful… I was once so insane…

I knew it would end like this, in this world vast filled with illusions…

delusions of your beauty, even with my warped senses…

I knew this wont be good, i reek of sin…

Under this illusion, i seek of hope, then i found you…

Even with false face, mascarade, your the pillar of my life…

Claiming to hold unto you until the ends of time, i was naive…

Not only i did betray myself, i have also forsaken my ideals…

Somewhere, along this life, IF… IF i might, see you again… Lets finish the ordeal, this is not how i wanted this to be…

Now trapped in this white fascade, im trapped, my feelings, my love, forgotten along the long road of life, rotting, i want to see you but you refuse…

Reconciliation is long gone, Death is unavoidable, we perish just like any other fool would be… I just wanted to be the person who you’ve know me to be… Let’s leave it like that and be free…

“If the dandelion seeds make up their minds
in such a way, then when do you think that is?”

My body, Pierced with a rusted dagger called “boredom”

My heart, Wrecked into pieces by a fool called “you”

My soul, echoes into nothingness

Synchronizes silently forming a melancholic tune called “despair”

My body wrecked by the dagger, plunges into darkness… Blindingly creepes out in a narrow space called “hope”

Unable too see *grabs for help* Unable too see someone…

Even without help, crawled out of the mud just too see more painfull memories… Too much, Just too much…

How can a mere boy withstand this awful world… without help, without you

Accomplishments… are just feign words to calculate oneself, unable to grab a hold, loosing foothold…

Relationship… loosing my mind, loosing our mind… one cant withstand hurtfull world without thee…

Unending words seepes out of my mind, representation of various non-existing dreams… i would like that and i would like these…

Tried to grab a hold of myself, Grabbing a bloody dagger, Falls into the quicksand… why should i care, why should you care?

Withstand greater emotions, Yet unable to express these…

Yeah i like you… so im sorry… Like a bullet piercing the flesh, once it goes in, it would never be back to the barrell…

My brains hurt, Should i do what must i should do even if i dont like it? Should i choose “it” and substitute it for these?

Im non-irrevelant, Im just a kid… feigning might to supress emotions, how much of these can i withstand? without a dagger, a gun nor a pen to grab hold of…

Killing is much easier when your depressed… Can i kill you? no you cant… Twisted urges runs through my veins… unending urges, supressing thee… CRYING, RUNNING! IM FALLING SOME ONE HELP ME? LET ME OUT OF HERE!? I DID NOT LIKE THESE! WHY DO THESE KIND OF THINGS HAPPEN TO ME!?

a kid shouted… even with much power, a kid can only shout… powerless… such cruelty displayed by world, it is existing… madness…

Grab a hold of a cross… Burned by it… i do not worship these… but does that mean im bad?… yeah your bad, really bad… this is madness…

Worthless strands of time flew by… Worthless strands of me die… i dont want these…

Help me i beg you… raises the hands towards the unending hope… i will not lose a grip tight in this reality

BEFORE -> NOW

mahangin pag nanalo -> Chill lang (matatalo din naman eh) Pero nakangiti

asar talo -> Punching bag practice Session (hahaha)

madaling maasar -> Sobrang daling maasar

madaling lokohin -> Sobrang daling lokohin

“to see is to believe” -> “To see is to Believe”

walang paniniwala -> Atheist

mahilig sa anime -> Otaku

mahilig mag computer -> Ex. Computer Engineering Student

memorize na ung kalahati ng keyboard -> Memorize 3/4

di marunong mag sabi ng feelings -> The same

takot malaman ang totoo -> The same

takot palagi -> Minsan nalang

mahilig lumabas ng gabi -> Palaging nasalabas pag gabi

ayokong maligo ng maaga x-x -> The same

adik ako sa kokain Th same

bobo ako sa english -> Medyo literate na

pati rin sa filipino -> Hate parin filipino

add mo na history -> HATE KO ANG HISTORY

favourite subject ko ang math -> MEDYO HATE KO NA ANG MATH

pati chemistry ni mam bermeo -> Mam Bermeo is love XD

ayoko ng biology ni mam primavera -> RIP mam primavera, i still like biology

maslalo na ung turo ni sir villaflores (PUTO) -> Nangrape ng abnormal si puto

ayoko sa tatanga tangang teacher -> The same

teacher = nub -> Not true

mahilig ako mag type -> Somewhat Right

wala pa kong stable na trabaho -> Still

gusto kong kumain ng hamburger -> Nope

mahilig din ako sa hotdog -> Yes

maslalo na ung madaming sauce -> LOL! Not anymore

ahh madami akong friend -> Right

ruben(bangaw,chixsilog),robert(baba,fafarobz),aldrin(chubby,tengu),miko(miko)

michael a.(antazo,chael),emil(cleaballs),augustus(22s,rustum),lance(kasas)

kenneth(cleavalls,fugeh), mon(papamon,babuy),ed(edong),adrian(aa)

->

Ruben (SirBangs), Robert (Fafarobz), Aldrin (Chubby), Miko, Michale a. (Antazo), Emil, Augustus (22s), Lance (Kasas), Mon (Goto), Joel (Hiryu), Jandean (Thor), Kenneth (Pogi), Ed (Marimo), Rona, Gizzane, Hana (Angle), Kim, Albert, Dennis (Weak) ETCx2! (Napaka daming nadagdag T_T)

ako PERVERT Hahaha

Its was deleted due to intermittent internet connection

Looking back at the past, i notice alot of different things at a different view now… Like loving, loving is something that uses resource and it does’nt give you enough collateral for every work you have done in it, makes you put greater work in order to get a little quantity of it… Does’nt make sense right? LOT of people knew this but most people tend to ride hell to get to heaven… well thats a new view of my life, unlike in the past where i love… to despair!, to belittle myself, acting “torpe” always, well i still think i still like her right now but… i try to keep my pride high and think of the future ahead instead of day dreaming about her everyday hahaha… I’ll just pray to god (if it is still existing) to make sure she is atop of the happiness ladder everyday… and if everything goes haywire i’ll be here, i’ll lend my arms wider than the earth to her…

How about my life?… im still a sloth, nothings gonna change… I tend to make others work for me (atleast i try not to force them), i try to sleep late at nights, booze up whenever its possible (a change for me, but not a good one, being drunk is one way to make myself happy [for some reason] even if it is destroying my body)… When i think of it, i’m a cooler dude than my high school counter part Nyahahaha!!! Thats it, im running out of words right now… Taglish naman…

Hahaha… Kung dati torpe ako ngaun, Nag iisip na ko! hahaha! Kung ma iinlove ako sana naman dun sa matandang mayamang madaling mamatay… para naman instant millionaire na ko!, hayz… pero hangang ngaun single padin ako… Baket? here’s my reasons:

1.) I dont have time for it (instead of dating i prefer loafing around the house)

2.) Im still stuck in the past

3.) I cant move forward

4.) I cant afford the luxury of dating a girl using my parents money

5.) Im picky, picking a ripe fruit from a hundread non is hard

6.) It’s troublesome slash awkward to talk to a girl

at sabi nga ni albert! Ang hina ko daw! hahaha, kamusta nmn un, hehehe… Mahina tlga ko pag dating sa gantong bagay hahaha!!! Pero nakaka asar namang panoorin ang iba nag nag papakagago dahil lang dito… Kamusta naman ang mentality ko? Medyo negative, hahaha!!! I always expect the worst!!! Get ready for it, then move! (Engineer’s way of life) Madami dami ring nag pabago saken, kung dati bagsak agad ako sa sapakan ngaun bibigyan ko sila!!! I dont believe in god anymore, what the hell… darwin’s theory BOY! anong magagawa ng god mo kung tatamad tamad karin… pampagaan lang ata yan ng loob eh, pag wala ka nang kahit anong hihingan ng tulong dun sa kanya ka hahawak pero ang totoo ikaw lang ang nag babago noon… hahaha… There is no GOD and YOU KNOW ABOUT IT!

Kamusta school? Aus lang… Hindi mahirap hindi madali… exacto lang sa tingin ko wala na kong madadagdag dito… kundi

“Life is like me… Its too good to be true XD”

i dont expect someone to buy it for me, but those goods can make me stay in my room for half a century…

1 tb external, High end laptops, foods, routers and peripherals

God i want those T_T… you lucky TUT! hahaha

I am keep telling my parents that i want a HE desktop but i think they don’t want me to have some *sob* XD hahaha

i wonder if you could eat this? hahaha

Can you please not enter my room when i am sleeping…

Can you please get out of the room uncle, i hate sleeping with someone and its getting on my nerves for the past few weeks…